15.10.13

What If You Can't Run Anymore?

I had always excitedly spoken about running and about how running makes me happy. One day, a friend asked me, "What if you can't run anymore?" In my heart, I sort of knew that I would continue doing something even if it meant paralympics as to quit never really seem like an option.

So it finally happened. I literally couldn't run. I couldn't bend my knees nor my ankles. I had trouble walking what more about running. I could barely walk up the stairs. The pain of it was amplified by the fact that the heart and soul wanted to run so badly - so badly.

Having a long list of runners on my Facebook didn't quite help. Each week, I flipped through Facebook and saw where someone would run or how long and how far a runner or a hiker would go, my heart cringed in pure envy. I was mostly staying in-house for more than 2 months. It was depressing for me to look at Facebook. I quit looking at it.

There was a day when I tried to do TRX and having to bend my ankles, the skin around my ankles broke badly I had to quit bending immediately.

In the past couple of years, I counted how many runs I could do in a year. Now, I counted how many runs I would miss this year.

In those house-bound days, the question frequently popped in my head: What if You Can't Run Anymore?

When I couldn't run, I counted my blessings instead. What I saw and felt was a lot of love and the amount of love compensated the fact that I couldn't run. I may be robbed of running but I wasn't robbed of love and that kept me going forward. Cheesy but true story!

Thank you, Love.

Right now that I'm healing, sweaty times are back. Hiked in the rain and TRX at home with friends. Binge eating with hope to pull back my muscles and weight into place.

Chanting my daily mantra: Just Do It.


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